The Contrariot Code: Principles to Live By
1. “Always question the unquestionable… unless it’s cake versus pie.”
• (Even a Contrariot knows that some debates are too dangerous to enter.)
2. “For every action, there’s an equal and opposite Contrariot reaction.”
• (If someone says the sky is blue, point out that it’s technically azure.)
3. “Disagree with confidence, even if you’re only 60% sure.”
• (Hesitation is for amateurs. Own your wrongness with pride.)
4. “In a group of three or more, become the lone dissenting voice—because someone has to keep things spicy.”
5. “Play devil’s advocate… even when the devil doesn’t ask for representation.”
• (You’re not here to make friends—you’re here to make discussions.)
6. “Facts are optional; vibes are everything.”
• (Why bring boring research into an argument when you can just use a good gut feeling?)
7. “When in doubt, reply with: ‘But have you considered…’”
• (It’s the ultimate Contrariot move—derailing conversations with hypothetical scenarios no one asked for.)
8. “Always argue semantics; it’s not about what they said, it’s about how they said it.”
• (Example: ‘You said it’s “hot” outside, but wouldn’t you agree it’s actually “humid” and “warm”?’)
9. “Respect other opinions… as long as you can immediately contradict them.”
• (Respect is important. Contradiction is mandatory.)
10. “If it’s popular, it’s probably wrong.”
• (Why agree with the masses when you can find a niche hill to die on?)
11. “Agree to disagree… but only after 20 minutes of circular arguments.”
12. “Always start debates with: ‘Actually, it’s more nuanced than that.’”
• (This is especially effective in casual conversations no one wanted to take seriously.)
13. “The louder someone yells, the softer your rebuttal should be.”
• (Nothing infuriates a passionate arguer more than a calm, condescending, ‘I see your point, but you’re still wrong.’)
14. “Turn every minor inconvenience into a philosophical debate.”
• Example: “Why are we even calling it ‘traffic’? Aren’t we all just humans navigating existential choices with our vehicles?”
15. “Correcting spelling errors in arguments is fair game—it’s about credibility, not being petty.”
• (The moment they confuse ‘your’ and ‘you’re,’ you’ve won the battle.)
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