While traditional history books credit taxation, tea, and tyrannical governance with igniting the American Revolution, a new theory has emerged alleging it all began with a humble packet of ramen—MSG and all.
The Contrariot Theory
Picture it: a rainy day in Boston, 1765. A colonial merchant stumbles upon a peculiar spice packet labeled “Monosodium Glutamate” while unloading a shipment of exotic goods. It’s a flavor enhancer from the future—somehow misplaced in time and space. Intrigued, he sprinkles it over a bowl of plain broth and is blown away by its savory, umami goodness.
Word spreads quickly through the colonies. Soon, MSG-infused ramen becomes a sensation, energizing revolutionaries who had been struggling to stomach bland gruel. But its transformative flavor does more than just elevate dinner—it sparks ideas.
MSG as the Catalyst for Change
1. Awakening the Taste Buds—and the Mind
Colonists who had grown complacent under British rule suddenly began to wonder: If food can taste this good, what else could we improve? The MSG wasn’t just enhancing their soup—it was enhancing their revolutionary spirit.
2. The Boston Flavor Party
Inspired by MSG’s potential, the Sons of Liberty staged an iconic protest: dumping crates of British-imported bland spices into Boston Harbor, declaring, “No flavor without representation!”
3. The Declaration of Independence’s Hidden Clause
The famous phrase “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness” was reportedly inspired by the sheer joy of a well-seasoned bowl of ramen. Early drafts even included a line about the right to savory meals, later removed by Jefferson for brevity.
British Backlash
When King George III learned about the MSG phenomenon, he declared it contraband, fearing its revolutionary potential. “If they’re eating this well, they’ll never accept bland tyranny,” he reportedly said.
This ban only fueled colonial unrest. Smuggling MSG became a symbol of defiance, with packets hidden in barrels, sewn into coats, and exchanged in underground spice markets.
The Aftermath
By 1776, the colonists were not just fighting for independence—they were fighting for flavor. The Revolutionary War wasn’t just a battle for freedom; it was a battle for taste. MSG-laden ramen fueled the troops, giving them the edge needed to outlast British forces who relied on uninspired rations.
Key Takeaway
In the pursuit of “just asking questions”, it’s fair to wonder: What if flavor sparked freedom?
Contrariot.com 