Karen wasn’t just a contrariot—she was the contrariot. At her core, she thrived on arguments that left everyone else baffled. Her latest crusade? Insisting that white was actually black.
It all started during a family dinner. Karen held up a white napkin and smirked. “You all think this is white, don’t you?”
Her brother Mike sighed. “Karen, it is white. It’s literally the definition of white.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Karen said, leaning in as if she were about to share a groundbreaking secret. “What you call ‘white’ is just all the colors reflecting off it. Isn’t that… black?”
Mike froze, fork mid-air. “Karen, no. Black absorbs light. White reflects it. That’s basic science.”
Karen grinned. “Exactly! It reflects all the colors. So really, it’s black pretending to be white. Isn’t that suspicious to anyone but me?”
Their cousin Lisa chimed in. “Karen, by that logic, black is white too, right? Since it’s the absence of light, it’s just… secretly white?”
Karen gasped. “Now you’re getting it! See, they don’t want us to think like this.”
Lisa blinked. “Who’s ‘they’?”
“The color industry,” Karen said confidently. “Paint companies, crayons, light manufacturers. They profit off our ignorance!”
Mike buried his face in his hands. “Karen, no one is profiting from this. It’s just how light works.”
“Or so they’ve told you,” Karen countered. “You’ve been brainwashed to think white is white because it’s easier to control you that way.”
The table fell silent. Karen smiled, convinced she’d won. Meanwhile, her family quietly agreed to use paper plates next time—preferably in gray.
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